pair bonding

thoughts on my dating life, brought to you by my dad

on when i am able to date, circa 1994: "not until you're 30."

on my future partner, circa 2000: "he'll not have a desk job. he'll be creative."

on the certainty that i will be married, circa 2002: "oh, you'll be married before the decade is out. trust me. before the decade is out"

on how he doesn't understand men my age, circa 2007: "they're all boys. none of them grow up. i can't figure it out. losers."

on how to trap a man, circa 2013: "spray some perfume on business cards, and hand them out. all men want is a scent of a woman. it's a great idea."

in response to my worries about my future (job/money): "oh, you'll be fine. you'll get a spouse and be set for life. set for life. meet a designer. you can build your own design company together."