MoMA PS1: Zero Tolerance

i only have one image from the Zero Tolerance show at MoMA PS1. i thought i'd have more, but nothing resonated with me quite as much as this image did.

Silence = Death, ACT UP, 1987

as you may or may not know, i am a product of the eighties. born in 1982, i witnessed the AIDS crisis as a young child. i know the Silence = Death campaign started in 1987, so i couldn't possibly remember it's first iterations, so i'm not sure quite when i became aware of this scary epidemic that was killing so many people. maybe it was the AIDS quilt, which was also first displayed in 1987... but more likely i remember it from 1990 or '92 when i was 8 or 10. to this day, i remember being incredibly moved, and incredibly scared. and the Silence = Death poster was the most beautiful and haunting piece of activist art i had ever seen, and i had to witness it on the news, from the comfort and safety of my small midwestern town. where i barely knew any gay people, let alone ones who had contracted the disease. i knew rumors. they ran rampant throughout school. you might get AIDS from a fellow classmate whom you helped whilst they were bleeding. you might get it from spit, or blood, or snot, or whatever. you might get AIDS from hugging someone, or from a toilet seat. it was a scary and confusing time. and Silence = Death was a touchstone so powerful that years later, when i watched the recent(ish) documentary How to Survive a Plague, i felt gut-punched when i saw it. i hadn't even remembered how powerful it felt as a kid, until i saw it again.

as humans we are given the blessing / curse of forgetting. but every once in awhile we're offered the mirror of remembering. remembering our fear, our loneliness, our wide-eyes staring at far away places where inconceivable things are happening to people we don't know. i felt something like this again when i walked into a near-empty room at PS1 and witnessed the poster, in "real life", lit beautifully with a stark spotlight. it affected me similar to the first time i saw it. i must've stood in front of it, staring, for five minutes. i felt the urge to take it, to steal some of that feeling when a piece is so pure, so concise, that you're jealous you didn't come up with it yourself. that you fool yourself into believing you might have one ounce of that power - to affect change, to incite a riot... but you have nothing to riot against.

image shot with iPhone 5, edited with VSCO app.


MoMA PS1: Art Amnesty, Bob and Roberta Smith

so, i just spent the past few weeks in NYC - the longest i've ever spent there. this is the first in a series of posts where i try to distill what it was actually like for me to be there, because i'm having a hard time comprehending the deep and undying love i feel for the city.

one of my first stops was MoMA PS1 in Queens. if you live in NYC and haven't been there yet, go. right now there are two exhibitions on that are compelling, engaging, and thought-provoking. here is my experience of one of them, Bob and Roberta Smith's Art Amnesty. tomorrow you'll read about the second exhibition, also from MoMA PS1, Zero Tolerance.

Bob and Roberta Smith set out the trash bins in front of the museum for people to literally throw their art away. the museum staff then empties the bins, and puts the art in the gallery. all of the art. interspersed throughout the gallery were the "artists" actual works, most of which i've decided to include here. it was at once an indictment of the gallery/museum/white box, and a celebration of the democracy of art. juxtaposed with the "pieces" were hand-signed notes with messages like "I PROMISE TO NEVER MAKE ART AGAIN" and "I AM NO LONGER AN ARTIST."

from the artist: “Many successful artists have recently voiced embarrassment that their work commands high prices. Artists may also use the opportunity of the Art Amnesty to expel certain works of art from the art market and demote them to objects unburdened by grand expectations and dashed dreams.” all of the work that the Smith's contributed to the art amnesty (a lot of which had been displayed in New York before) will be unceremoniously discarded with the rest of the artwork at the close of the show.

from the MoMA PS1 website / artist statement:

Why are some people artists while others are not? Was Joseph Beuys an idiot when he said everyone is an artist? Do artists think they are a cut above the rest of us? Are the arts a good in themselves, or is it much, much, more complicated than that?

Many artists delude themselves into believing that they are promising, productive artists when they would live much more fulfilled and useful lives engaged in proper employment. I PROMISE NEVER TO MAKE ART AGAIN provides a baptism of necessary real life and allows artists to "Get Real." Ditch a life of poverty and precarious self-employment! Don't miss a life-changing opportunity.

all photos taken by me, iPhone 5, edited in VSCO app.



ahhhh not peeta!!

the advertising for these movies has been en pointe. take a look at the Capitol Couture website. so much fashion! i adore that they've added sheer class and elegance - it makes it even scarier that it's coming from an evil empire. shivers!

also, take a look at these propaganda posters:

they're beautiful AND the men are buff and hot and defeated. truly "viral" marketing at it's best.


10 songs, 06.25.14

You're So Vain, Carly Simon
Prosthetic Love, Typhoon
Jasmine, Jai Paul
Laurel Canyon, Jackie DeShannon
Rachel, Sleigh Bells
Fineshrine, Purity Ring
Highschool Lover, Air
Heroin, The Velvet Underground w/ Nico
We Used to Wait, Arcade Fire
Gospel Song, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club



i haven't written about music in a long time, primarily because i've chosen to stay out of the loop of most music lately. i used to follow it a lot, and frankly, i just don't have the energy or the time. but, i thought i'd talk a bit about my deep and undying love for Lana Del Rey.

i love Lana for the same reasons most people hate her. she's been lambasted for being a construct, but i find that the most fascinating thing about her. she's been accused of being morose and sappy, but again, i find it refreshing that a "pop star" isn't happy. i like that she's moody and dark, and willing to sing truthfully about heinously fucked up relationships. it's a different sort of attitude towards men than we've seen from other pop starlets, and definitely a departure from the "girl power" bombast from the likes of Beyoncé. there is a place for "girl power" - but it doesn't have a place in Lana Del Rey's world, which makes her so intriguing. women are full of self-hatred, defeat, and pain. i see nothing wrong with a woman finally approaching the mic with that pain and instead of being angry, misandrist, or bitter about it, accepting the pain with a casual apathy.

we can't be everything to everyone at all times, like Beyoncé. we can't be crazy and fun all the time like Miley. we can't be enthralling and arty all the time like Gaga. but i find i can be Lana at any time - that casual apathy that lies just below the surface, that i can call up at any moment. doing destructive things isn't necessarily a sign of self-destruction. think about all of the ways we destroy ourselves and others on any given day. we're not capable to have love, or give love, or know what love is, because we're simply human. yet, we're confronted with it every day, and demand it of the people around us. then we recoil in horror when it actually shows up in an unabashed form.

on her latest album, Ultraviolence, Lana's songwriting has definitely evolved, and is much more richly textured. there are no huge standouts, like Born to Die, but it's a solid record overall. from the sardonic, sarcastic lyrics of Brooklyn Baby, to her heartbreaking version of Nina Simone's The Other Woman, Ultraviolence takes a tour through domestic violence, female self-hatred, and adultery. it's that darker side that people find self-indulgent, but i find cathartic.

even when Lana demands Money Power Glory, it's with a very specific, very honest confidence. it's the same monstrous character as the women who inhabit her other songs: demanding, because they deserve it, but ultimately broken by their own ambition, and forced to recognize that they'll destroy anyone in their way to get what they want. and, with the past that that character of a woman has had, it's unsurprising that it would be at whatever cost to gain her money, power, and glory. we like to tell people in america that they can do whatever they want, if they only work hard enough. that we're in a meritocracy. which simply isn't true. so, again, i find this album incredibly honest, stripped of any preconceived notions of what a woman should sing about, or be like. it also helps that the sound is baked in the southern california sun, full of warmth and laziness with a healthy dose of heady smog. i hear one woman's singular voice, her character, who is mysterious, complex, vapid, wild, free, trapped, vain, confident, afraid, defeated, triumphant, and a mixed up ball of emotions and inconsistencies. which, isn't that the most honest portrayal that anyone could hope from a pop star?


32-year-old me tells you what she love/hates

last year, i told you everything i hated. since most of those things remain "hates" i thought i'd tell you about some love/hate relationships i have on this, the date of the 32nd year of my birth. (did that sentence make sense?) this might be a shorter list - it also is a lot harder.






rolling out muscles

brussel sprouts





drugs, in general



my hair


nail polish


making the effort. any effort.



i think he's statement sums his work up succinctly and accurately:


and i'm kind of in love. i once had a professor tell me i had a very poetic view of the world, and not to lose it. so when i see someone who can express that poeticism in a way that isn't maudlin, or melodramatic, i have a high appreciation for it. also, i think there is a fair bit of humor in these works, too, but maybe that's just the way i'm viewing them.

it was very hard to chose just a few. check his work out. all images are unceremoniously stolen from his website.



Na Kim does amazing erotic/punny book covers, and is a pretty kick ass illustrator. you can see more of her book covers, here. the minute i saw these on Juxtapoz, i knew i had to share them. they're funny, poignant, and irreverent. the way truly great illustration/art should be (in my humble opinion). Catcher in My Thighs might be my favorite, and not only because that book was one of my all-time favorites as a moody teenager (i'm SURE you're SHOCKED), but The Unbearable Lightness of Peeing is oddly accurate, so maybe it wins? anyhow, enjoy.


little girls love horses...

and as a kid, i was definitely one of them. i went to horseback riding camp, had a "beverly hills polo club" tee shirt (i aspired to be a yuppie as a child) and had a whole collection of porcelain and plastic figurines. so, when i came across Jill Greenberg's Horses a couple years ago, i was transported immediately back to being a little girl, just lusting after the idea of having a horse.

watch some behind-the-scenes footage:

all photos unceremoniously stolen from the web, and belong to Jill Greenberg.



1. What's the last fantastic film you saw?
this is slightly embarrassing, but, 100% legit, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2. i watched it twice in one weekend. i blame painkillers and the marshmallows. watch it, and you'll see what i mean.

2. If you could travel to any city in the world tonight, where would you wake up tomorrow?
this is SUPES HARD, YO. kneejerk reaction was Tokyo. but i've BEEN to Tokyo, so i feel like i should choose somewhere i haven't been. meh, i give up. Tokyo.

3. What's your favorite blog? Is there a regular feature on said blog that you LOVE?
this makes me a bad blogger, but i don't read very many blogs. my favorites are my friend's blogs: Sarah with We Hope for More and Shari over at Objects Around the Sun. most of the time, it's Dlisted and Valleywag for me.

4. What songs are on your "I'm gonna clean the shit out of my home!" playlist? (Or your "I'm cookin' up a storm in here!" playlist.)
A LOT of Robyn. some Iggy Azalea, some Rhianna. A LOT of Beyoncé. is it anti-feminist that i listen to almost exclusively female artists whilst doing domestic tasks?

5. Do you have a fav podcast? Do tell.
for sure the Savage Lovecast by Dan Savage. that man is a genius.

6. Without worrying about whether you could "pull it off" how would you cut and/or color your hair?
pink. or lavender. i'd also straighten the hell out of it, and do the Vidal Sassoon 5 point bob.

7. Have you ever lied about reading a book that you haven't? Title? Explain the sitch.
oh, i'm almost positive i have, and probably to sound smarter than i really am. i have no idea what the situation was, but i'm sure it was in college talking to some brainiac boy.

8. Do you have a fav smoothie? What are the ingredients? (If you hate smoothies, what's your fav summery drink?)
smoothies are alright. gin and tonics are better.

9. If you could be at a performance of any musician throughout history, who would woo your ears?
either Joy Division or Pulp. i think. i should say someone like Mozart.

10. I like Janet's #2, so what's the next thing you are looking forward to?
MY BIRTHDAYYYYY!! also, a dear friend of mine is having a baby. i'm not a baby person, but i'm pretty excited to meet hers. also, my parents are coming to visit in July. and i'm going to my parents lake house in September. summer is the best time of year!

11. If you could accomplish just one more goal in 2014, which would it be?
i HAVE to finish my cross-stitch for the year 2014. i'm starting a project where i cross-stitch the "mantra" of the year each year. then, at the end of my life, i'll be surrounded by all the mantra's i had each year. this year, it's "fuck bitches, get money." R.I.P. B.I.G.

thanks to the lovely Sarah for making me procrastinate on the aforementioned crafting. L.O.V.E.


lyricist, part I

i've been attempting to compile a list of my all-time favorite lyrics. lyrics that make me wish i was a songwriter. lyrics that, to this day, even if they are 20 years old, still tug at my heartstrings. i've always been a lyrics-slut. lyrics, to me, can change an entire song from something i hated at first listen, to a song i've loved forever. so, presented with very little comment, here are some of my all-time favorite lyrics EVER. in no particular order.

"now i write when i'm away letters that you'll never read / you said go explore those other women the geography of their bodies / but there's just one map you'll need / you're a boomerang you'll see / you will return to me."
- Bright Eyes, You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will.

"separate the ones who know you / from the ones who couldn't bother to see you for all that you are"
- Tilly and the Wall, I Always Knew
i could quote this entire song, but i'll save you that. suffice to say it's perfection.

"'cos maybe / you're gonna be the one that saves me / and after all / you're my wonderwall" - Oasis, Wonderwall

"i'd do it if i could / i hope you know i would"
- Buffalo Tom, Late at Night
okay, does everyone remember the My So-Called Life episode where Rayanne and Angela go to the Buffalo Tom concert? this song is playing in the background when Angela is desperately trying to talk to Jordan. i searched for it for Y.E.A.R.S. because i didn't want to buy a whole goddamn album. this. this song. still sums up my life.

"time cast a spell on you but you wont forget me / i know i could've loved you but you would not let me / i'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you / you'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loved you"
- Fleetwood Mac, Silver Springs

"and it's easier in nighttime / when you've had too much whisky maybe too much wine / and you wake up in the morning / and you have to look at him / so you stare at your spoon / your upside-down reflection"
- Tilly and the Wall, Hidden Track after The Ice Storm, Big Gust, and You

"polly ann only has herself to please / she has no use for your ring or your keys / just a pocket knife / and a hole in her heart / painter's brush / an astral chart / and a music box that was broken from the start."
- Reigning Sound, Polly Ann

"she said she'd never seen someone so lost / i said i'd never felt so found"
- The Good Life, Album of the Year
it was hard for me to pick a lyric out of this song. but i think this one adequately sums up the song. though, it does have the best opening line ever with "the first time that i met her i was throwin' up in the ladies room stall."

"cos i don't want to get over love / i could listen to my therapist / pretend you don't exist / and not have to dream of what i dream of"
- The Magnetic Fields, I Don't Want to Get Over You



i love hand painted letters, and i love the work of Baron Von Fancy. it's irreverent and cheeky. follow him on Instagram. i'm saving up for a print or two - but they are hella cheap for art, so snap them up.



i'm all over the map these days, but the map includes the following:

Typhoon, White Lightning

Schoolboy Q, Oxymoron

Hedwig and the Angry Inch Sdtk



Hello Kitty USB Hand-warmers

i think i might need these for work... i can expense that, right?



so, i was lucky enough to get some fun in the sun (and some food poisoning - yay!) whilst i was in LA a couple of weekends ago. here's a recap!

first, i have the best friends in the world. they arranged for me to stay with them at a new hotel in koreatown, called the Line. it was magic. the view was unreal - we could see all of the hollywood hills including the hollywood sign AND the griffith observatory. we were on the 12th floor, and it felt like the top of the world (kind of. maybe not that tall. but you get the point.)

i highly recommend you try this place out. the drinks at the bar were solid, the rooms were cozy, and apparently they'll be opening a pool. it's also super centrally located.

we went to Wacko's/La Luz de Jesus of course, and found the most amazing piece ever. had it not been sold, i would've bought it on the spot.

Cheyenne Ngyun, Well Hello, Motherfucker

unfortunately, i can't seem to locate the artist anywhere online - any help, please? thanks!

the highlight for the weekend for me was seeing my BFF, of course. but also getting to see the James Turrell retrospective at the LACMA.

this is an illegal shot. shh, don't call the art police.

it was inspiring, overwhelming, and exciting, just like good art should be. Ganzfeld, one of the pieces, was a light-filled room that you entered. again, much like the Turrell in Naoshima, it was incredibly trippy and felt like you were Mike TeeVee from Willy Wonka. you can see the brochure for the exhibition, here. there are better pictures in the pamphlet. i also bought the book because i can't stop myself.

it was entirely too short of a trip, and now i have to make arrangements to go back to see the Mike Kelley retrospective at MOCA. anyone like to join?



happy valentine's day, lovelies. i'm working on new things for this here blog, i promise. for now, here's some love inspo.

playlist, 02.14.14 (in no particular order) Bloodbuzz Ohio, The National
Cosmic Love (live), Florence + the Machine
I'll Try Anything Once (live), Julian Casablancas
Sweet Child O' Mine (cover), Taken by Trees
Drunk in Love, Beyonce
We Move Lightly, Dustin O'Halloran
Crazy, Patsy Cline
Teenage Dream, Katy Perry
Polly Anne, Reigning Sound
Here Comes Your Man, The Pixies
When I'm Small, Phantogram
This Love is Fucking Right, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
I Always Knew, Tilly and the Wall


golden globes top picks

half of me really wanted JLaw to show up like this:

but, she looks much classier with this. and that hair! and those red lips! yes, JLaw wins AGAIN. the bitch.

Lupita Nyong'o in Ralph Lauren. A CAPE. WHO DOESN'T LOVE A CAPE?

Zooey Deschanel. i don't love this. but i don't hate it. but i have FEELINGS about it. i love love love the shoes. i hate hate hate the fucking flower hair. maybe just the styling is off?? but i want to eat it. FEELINGS.

who the fuck is this. i don't know, i don't care. it's FUCKING LOVELY even if it's just too spring for january.

what were your top looks? are we excited about awards season? are we excited that JLaw might win another oscar? i know i am!



it's that time of year again, so of course i start coveting lovely things.

Jony Ive redesigned the Leica for a (RED) auction - it went for 1.8 million USD. it is quite lovely.

Materials + Process Sacagawea Carryall. made to order, in SF. i've been ogling this bag for the past few years. it's way out of my price range, but isn't it lovely?

not your standard diamond earrings, by Sarah Loertscher. bonus = they are conflict free. buy them for me at Of A Kind.

this officially makes me a nerd, but i don't care. it's Capitol Couture (yes, that capitol) by Hunger Games fashion designer Trish Summerville. and it's a gorgeous cuff. le sigh.



Damien Hirst for Alexander McQueen. not Hirst's first collaboration in fashion, but definitely one of the more promising. the butterfly paintings certainly lend themselves to the scarves, but i do recall owning a Pit Er Pat skull poster a few years back that looked oddly like the skull-bug scarves... still, arresting and ethereal.